Anger
You throw and break things when you're angry, and you've started hiding the damage from the people who live with you.
You throw things and break things when you’re angry. You hide the damage when you can. You go back to the hardware store and patch what you broke. You promise yourself this one was the last one. The people who live with you have mostly stopped saying anything about it. They’ve started flinching instead.
You’re getting a few seconds of relief out of the throwing. Those few seconds keep training the next throw.
You broke another thing the next time.
Educational, not diagnostic. Not a substitute for clinical assessment.
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You very likely grew up in a household where someone’s anger came out as something hitting something. You may have decided you would never be that, and you may have managed to be different in most of your life. You may have absorbed the lesson without examining it, that big feelings have to come out physically, and now you’re throwing things even though you swore you wouldn’t.
You bought the bag because someone told you it would help. You haven’t used it because you can’t pause long enough to walk to the garage. By the time you’ve thought of the bag, you’ve already thrown what was in your hand. The bag is for an explosion that’s still in the future. The explosion you’re having is in the present.
For the related patterns, see I have rage attacks and I scared my partner with my anger .
You can’t address an explosion at the moment of explosion. You can change what you’ve been doing in the days you weren’t exploding.
Strategic therapy works the days you weren’t exploding, where the load was being assembled. You stop carrying the smaller annoyances forward as fuel. The next time something would have ended in something hitting the wall, you stay irritated at human size and the wall stays a wall.
You stop replacing what you broke. Your partner stops flinching when you stand up too quickly.
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